I have what I have decided to call an intense fascination of birds. I can't deny that I am what my friends call the "crazy bird girl". I can't deny that I dream about birds, talk about birds and think about birds extremely often. I refuse to believe it is anything other than a healthy infatuation. My mum calls it an obsession. I call it a passion.
I don't know how it came to be. I don't exactly know what it is about birds I adore so much, either. I've always loved animals, and in particular used to be very fond of cats and butterflies - mostly butterflies, for that matter, and pretty much all kinds of bugs (even spiders, which I now detest). I loved dressing up as a butterfly when I was a kid and would run around flapping my pretend wings. Flying was something I greatly wanted to experience. Perhaps this is where the birds come in?
Whatever the case, at least I'm putting my fascination to good use. I draw birds, I paint birds, I write about birds, I look after birds, I own birds. I now own two cockatiels, Jari and Cinnamon. I've such a fondness for them that my heart melts and I smile every time I think about them or am with them. They bring me such joy, happiness, and fulfillment. I wouldn't be the same without my bird companions. I have a vision that one day, when I am freely independent in the world and grown, I will own a spacious aviary and keep all kinds of birds, even breed them and sell them. It will be joyous, I can see it now. Walking through the large aviary at the zoo gives me a similar feeling; colourful parrots flying free overhead, chirps and shrieks and calls of all different sounds, sharing and communicating. It is a wonderful experience.
Perhaps I'll pick up writing about my dreams again. Perhaps I won't. Perhaps I'll let them fade from memory, an unimportant disturbance of my life. Perhaps I'll recognize their significance and come to a deep understanding about the undercurrents of the world. Who knows? Anything could happen at this point in time. For the moment, I'm glad to allow the future to take its course, whichever way that may be.